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Use a Relationship Breakup to Your Advantage

You think you have come to terms with the break up but every time you think about him, you want to cry. This is probably the most difficult time of your life. Break-ups are never easy and how you deal with the charged emotions sets the tone for future relationships. Will you tell yourself, "I will never love someone that much again!" or will you say (a much harder thing to do), "We were good together for a time but I will get over this and I will find someone who loves me the way I want to be loved!"

  • In a lot of cases, couples break-up and then get back together and repeat the same scenario over and over again until the pain is so great that one or the other cannot bear it any more. Would it not make more sense to look at your relationships and see where there are repeating patterns?

Unless you can identify the trouble spots and find a way to correct them or learn from them, you most certainly will create the same circumstances with your next partner. Are you attracted to the same type of person every time? Does your behavior change after the newness wears off? Are either of you addicted to drama, drugs or alcohol? Do you try to change your partner or his or her behavior? Is dishonesty evident in either of you? Are you overly critical of each other? Potential partners will tell you everything you need to know about them up front. It is your job to listen and learn from their words and actions. 

I have always believed that relationships are for a season, a reason or a lifetime. If you are just not good together, learn from it, keep the lesson and throw the pain away. If we do that, our next relationship should be easier and more satisfying. Ultimately what we want is a life partner who loves us for who we are not who we should be. You deserve a partner who loves YOU the way you want to be loved (and vice versa)!

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The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
--Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Now is the only time there is. Make your now wow, your minutes miracles, and your days pay. Your life will have been magnificently lived and invested, and when you die you will have made a difference.
--Mark Victor Hansen



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Updated - November 05, 2009